


Sealed In An Envelope

by SleeplessNightWithPhan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Rejection, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 16:17:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13685268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleeplessNightWithPhan/pseuds/SleeplessNightWithPhan
Summary: “Oh, it’s one for me? Just throw it on the pile here, I’m going to look at them all later today.” Phil said with a smile on his face. And Dan felt his heart break into a thousand little shards.





	Sealed In An Envelope

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine’s Day! This is a fic written for the @phandomficfests (go check out the other fics too!)
> 
> Thank you @snowbunnylester for helping with this one!
> 
> I’m kinda really sick and wrote half of this when I probably wasn’t really in any condition to write. But I did it anyway. I hope you still like it!

It was stupid. This idea was stupid. Why had Dan ever considered this? 

Instead of writing the essay that was due in a week, Dan had spent last night carefully crafting the card he was holding. He’d spent hours delicately drawing the swirls and patterns, cutting shapes out of the brightly coloured paper, coming up with the right words to write on the paper, trying to shape the letters as beautifully as possible. And restarting because he wasn’t completely satisfied with the result. 

This had to be perfect fot Phil.

Dan and Phil were an unusual set of friends, but Dan wouldn’t trade Phil for the world.   
They had met in Dan’s first year, introduced to each other through a mutual friend. And Dan had been a goner from day one.

The blackness of Phil’s hair a stark contrast to his pale skin and cerulean eyes that Dan could get lost in forever. Sharp face with a certain softness to it, freckles dusted on his cheeks. 

His hair cut in a fringe that seemed like it could only fit someone with a very dark aesthetic, but somehow worked perfectly with Phil’s brightly coloured wardrobe.

He saw the world in a different way than Dan did. Phil’s world lacked the gloominess and bleakness Dan tended to see immediately. He had an inextinguishable ability to see the good in people, the positive side of a situation, the light in a seemingly endless darkness.

Dan and Phil were two opposites, which is perhaps why they worked so well together. 

Very quickly after having met, they spent every bit of their spare time together, playing video games, watching films, or just talking about the world and the meaning of everything. 

But after a few months of knowing Phil, Dan couldn’t help but wonder if their strong platonic connection would be able to transform into something more romantic.

If the safety and comfort Dan felt around Phil would cease to exist, or become even stronger. If the excitement that coursed through his body and the prospect of being able to spend time with his best friend would only become more intense, or would fade away.

And the more he thought about it, the more Dan started to realise that, yes, they would work very well. And Dan would like that very much. In fact, he might have already been well on his way to being in love with his best friend.

That moment of realisation had happened about five months ago, and Dan had been toying with the idea of telling Phil how he felt ever since. 

He knew that he would not be able to hide these feelings forever, especially since they had only become stronger since his discovery of them. The occasions where Dan wasn’t thinking about Phil were getting less and less frequent, and the chance of someone figuring out why he was daydreaming so much was getting larger by the day. 

It was when he was walking down the aisles of the local shop, and saw all the Valentine’s Day products, that he came up with his idea. Telling Phil face-to-face was still a bit too much for Dan, but writing him a card was something he could do. And Valentine’s Day was the perfect occasion to do so. 

Which is how he’d ended up here, standing a few meters away from Phil, who was sat down on a couch in the lounge of their uni halls, browsing his phone. 

And on the coffee table in front of him, a small mountain of red, white and pink envelopes. All with Phil’s name on them. 

Of course, Dan should’ve known he wouldn’t be the only one giving Phil a card. He couldn’t possibly have been the only person who had realised how perfect Phil was. And Dan was sure at least 90% of those cards came from someone more prettier, kinder, just better than him. 

Why had Dan even considered this to be a good idea in the first place? He could never compete for Phil’s heart, and Phil would just let him down easy. He was about to mess up the entire friendship Dan cared about so much. 

Dan was about to turn around and walk back to his room, stopping by the fridge on the way to get a big bucket of ice cream. He could watch The Notebook. Or another Nicholas Sparks-film that would just cement his loneliness ever more. 

But of course, with all the things Dan had done in his life, karma wasn’t about to let him down easy.

“Dan! Hey, what are you holding there? Someone gave you a card?”

Ok, so Phil had spotted him. No need to get worried. He could just play it cool. Nothing to be worried about.

“Errr, yeah, it’s a Valentine’s Card. You know, with it being Valentine’s Day and everything.”

Cursing internally about his lack of social skills, Dan turned around to face Phil, waving the card around in his hands. But he realised a second too late that by doing this, he displayed the name on the card to Phil, who was definitely looking at it. 

So far for pretending it wasn’t for him.

“Oh, it’s one for me? Just throw it on the pile here, I’m going to look at them all later today.” Phil said with a smile on his face. And Dan felt his heart break into a thousand little shards.

Somehow Dan managed to stay composed for long enough to place the card on top of the other ones, but the tears that he was holding back started pouring right after he bolted the lounge. He could vaguely hear Phil calling out his name, confusion lacing his voice, but he couldn’t make himself care about that right now.

Running through the hallways of the building and almost falling up the staircase, Dan finally made it to his room. He slammed the door closed behind in and slid down to the floor. 

Dan had thought that it would’ve been tough to see Phil look at him in a way that screamed “I feel bad for you” as he was let down gently. He doesn’t know if he would’ve been able to stay composed if Phil would’ve inevitably rejected him.

But this. This is something Dan hadn’t even thought he might have to deal with. 

Being rejected in such a casual, uncaring way. As if he was a pair of shoes that could easily be replaced. A dirty t-shirt, good for wearing on casual lounge days, but as soon as you stepped outside of the house you changed into something better, something actually decent. 

Had Phil really never cared about Dan at all? Sure, Dan was already counting on Phil not wanting to date him, but this? It’s like they weren’t even friends, like they were vaguely acquaintances at best. 

Hours later, Dan found himself buried in the sheets of his bed, exhausted from crying for hours, finally succumbing to a restless sleep that would be haunted by blue eyes.

***  
It took Dan a minute to realise the sound he was hearing wasn’t something he was dreaming, but that there was somebody banging on his door.

Bleary eyed, he stumbled to the door to his room, not even bothering to change into anything more decent than his old pajamas. If someone needed him bad enough to be giving a drum concerto on his door, they would have to deal with this.

But when he opened the door and saw Phil standing there, he maybe regretted that decision a bit.

“Oh, hi Phil, is something wrong?” Dan said, trying his best to conceal the hurt and sadness in his voice.

“Dan. I read the card you gave me. I didn’t realise it was from you, and...” Phil started, but Dan stopped him before he could continue his speech.

“Phil, come on in, we can’t do this in the hallway.” He said while stepping aside as a way to invite him in.

Every time Phil visited his place, he looked out of place. The dark, minimalistic way Dan had decorated the small room he was assigned made the colourfulness and cheerfulness that Phil just seemed to radiate stand out even more. 

But this time, it seemed like Phil was desaturated. Like he wasn’t fully shining, and Dan knew he was the reason for this.

He decided to just get this over with. This was obviously making Phil uncomfortable, and if there was anything Dan could do to take that feeling away from Phil, he would. Because Phil was still his best friend after all (or at least he hoped he would still be).

Sighting, he sat down on the bed, and stared at the wall across from him. 

“Please, I know what you’re gonna say, and I’m not gonna stop you from saying it, but just… be gentle, ok? I think I deserve that much” Dan spoke, his voice hoarse and laced with the reminders of sleep.

But Phil didn’t say anything. He just sat down on the office chair, staring at his hands, toying with a loose thread on his jeans. With every exhale of Phil’s breath Dan could feel the tension in the room grow, and he just hoped that above all, that tension wasn’t going to be too present in their friendship after this. He was trying to remain composed, listening to the ticking of the clock and Phil’s breath as to not lose his tether to reality. 

After a while - 5 seconds or 2 hours, Dan honestly couldn’t tell - Phil had apparently finally made up his mind about what he was going to say, and Dan couldn’t help but hold his breath.

“Dan. There are so many things that I want to tell you now, or ask you, that I don’t really know how to begin. What’s the best way of dealing with this.” Phil leaned forward, taking Dan’s hands in his, causing to Dan to exhale at the feeling of warm hands tangled with his, focussing his gaze on Phil’s delicate fingers.

“I’m sorry about the way I reacted when you brought me the card. I really had no idea it was yours, never even dared to think that you would give me one. I was just under the assumption that someone had given it to you and asked you to deliver it to me. It wasn’t until I opened it and read it that I realised what I had done. How I must have made you feel.” Phil was now tracing his thumb over Dan’s knuckles, which almost made Dan feel calm again. Almost.

“But Dan, I need you to know something. and this is very important, so I need your full attention. Can you look at me please? Could you do that for me?”

Could Dan? Could he manage to face those beautiful blue eyes, that would no doubt be filled with pity? That perfectly sculpted face that would give him a sad smile? 

He couldn’t quite do it. But he had to. He knew it.

Slowly, Dan lifted his face, but to his surprise, he felt his cheek being cupped by Phil’s hand. 

And Phil’s face. Oh, that gorgeous face that Dan spent hours studying, taking in every line, curve, freckle, mole. That face looked like it was about to overflow with happiness, and Phil was giving him the brightest smile he had ever had.

“The card you gave me today, the card I could see that you poured your heart into, that’s the card that I’ve been hoping to receive the entire day. That’s what I’ve been hoping this day would bring me for months. And it’s not because of the card itself. I do think it was absolutely perfect, and I will forever keep it close to me. But it’s the person that gave it to me that I care about.”

Hearing those words, Dan flashed Phil the biggest smile ever, almost enough to compete with Phil’s smile. He didn’t quite know when their faces got so close, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care, because he kept leaning in, kept getting close, and then they were kissing. And they kept kissing, pouring every unsaid word between them in that perfect connection between them.

And further down the line, they would probably laugh with how this was such a Dan and Phil way to get together, and their friends would tease them with this story. 

But right now, Dan could only think of how this maybe hadn’t been such a stupid idea after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback, kudos or comments are greatly appreciated and basically make me happy all day long.
> 
> I've also got a Tumblr over [here](http://sleeplessnightwithphan.tumblr.com) :)  
> Thank you for stopping by ^^


End file.
